One month till I have to perform in pink tights. I am feeling more ballet-fit, but still don’t look like it. Having a hard time staying away from eating at night when I get back after a full day of classes, rehearsals and work too. I pack my lunch and dinner and stick to my meal plan all day, then bust it at night – not anything unhealthy, just too much. I wish I weren’t finding myself saying this, or worse, writing it, as if someone will read it and give me the secret answer to sticking to my plan. I’ve tried everything, it seems. I just need to execute control and willpower. Maybe focus less on pink tights being my goal, since I don’t see that as lasting anyway. I need a long term goal, like to perform with a contemporary dance company – now that’s possible. I just want to be able to tell people that yes, I am a dancer, without feeling self-conscious. I will try to stop making this a hash of all my complaints. Trust me, it can go on for hours. Once I get done with this performance I will return to actual blogging.