Here’s to a rather late start to a new year – 2013 is going to be a year of expectancy for me and Matt. I am reminded that I don’t march to the same beat as everyone else, and my life certainly does not follow the same pattern as everyone else. Neither does his. We are each different from the “norm” for different reasons, that is, if the “norm” is living the American dream. We are both poor performing artists who want to be making music or dancing rather than working mundane jobs, and our lives for different reasons have taken the long away around getting to those things that people are supposed to be doing in their late twenties, getting a boring job and making boring money, living a cushy life, getting married, having kids. The only thing I can count on is that the Lord brought us together for a reason and He has good plans for each of us, to fulfill the dreams and desires He gave us.
I began to get sad tonight about how my life isn’t following the “American Dream” like so many of my friends’ lives are, until I was reminded that the American Dream is not really what I want anyway. I want the dreams the Lord has for me. In 2013, I am content to know that the Lord is leading me, and that the trajectory of my life will look and always has looked different from most of those around me.
In Psalm 37:4 there is a promise: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act.”
I am beginning to see evidence that my dreams are being revealed and He is indeed giving me the desires of my heart. He is so good! He can always be trusted. I am looking forward to the things He has prepared for this year. I have given my heart, my dreams, my desires to Him. He is my all and He is worthy of trust. What lies ahead that I cannot see I entrust to Him…
I entrust to the Lord what happens in the next 3 years as I enter graduate school. My relationships, finances, talent and gifts I also entrust to Him. I trust Him to work out the details of my M and my relationship and to provide the necessary funds for living expenses when I move to Florida. Thank you Lord for opening the doors so far, and thank you for the peace you have given me about this new step. As easy as it is for me to be impatient with things like relationships, I trust your timing. I’ve seen You give my dancing back to me and I am beginning to see how You are keeping Your promise to use my talents; You raised me from despondency and self pity. You have given me joy.
Let me shine my light in the darkness. Give me favor with my employers, coworkers, fellow students, and those I come in contact with.